I have a great time rambling about comics, cartoons, pop culture, and myself - but another thing I love about this blog is checking out the search queries that deliver you lovable readers to the Cavern.
It’s totally anonymous, I don’t know who is Googling “full frontal Ghost Rider”, unless they e-mail me or leave comments claiming credit. But it’s fun to see the weird things we’re searching for, and wondering why Google or Bing or whoever decides to rank my site highly for the bizarre queries.
I had a couple of fun ones on October 14, so on the 15th I started polling to pick an audience favorite. Well, the polls are closed, the results are in.
Congratulations, “boob comic” searcher! You took two-thirds of the vote, beating out “power girl headless” and winning Best Search Query.
If the searcher(s) for boob comics would like to take credit and have their names (or online tags) mentioned, along with the prize of a free plug for their blogs, webcasts, or what have you (click here for guidelines), they can either send me an e-mail or just leave a comment.
If, however, they prefer superhero-like anonymity, searching for weird crap on the Web from the rooftops and the shadows, I respect that too.
In other weird search news, look what’s making a comeback:
Seriously, is there some picture or something featuring Teen Titans wedgies floating around on the Web? If so, would someone please send me a link?
For those of you searching the Cavern in vain for Wonder Girl whale tail, I hope this god-on-god superwedgie, delivered by Thorcules to Hercuthor, is an acceptable consolation prize.
Despite my general disdain for ’80s nostalgia, I have been re-reading several DC comics from that era, since it was a period of creative greatness and bold changes at the company. The kind of time, sadly, we haven’t seen in comics for a very long time. In fact, the ’80s were such a definitive period for DC that just about every book they’re currently publishing - aside from the occasional bizarre re-interpretation of Jack Kirby’s Fourth World epic - is rooted in the plots and character arcs from series like the original Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans.
I recently commented on how much I’m enjoying re-reading that series in particular, and how remarkably well it holds up all these years after it was first published - arguably more so than even the classic Claremont/Byrne X-Men books being published at the time (let the arguing begin!). In that post, I couldn’t help but point out the amusing image above - by Curt Swan, filling in for a deadline-swamped George Perez - of Kid Flash getting intimately acquainted with Trigon during the Titans’ first run-in with Raven’s Pops.
However, I can’t help but think there’s something missing from that panel. Anything as dramatic as a face-first crash into a demon’s boy parts should be accompanied by something; a descriptive caption, a great sound effect (SPLORTCH!), or maybe some witty battle-banter from Wally:
“Hey guys, you know how Raven keeps saying we wouldn’t want to know too much about where she comes from? Well, I can confirm she’s at least half right!”
So, if you were in Marv Wolfman’s shoes, or at his typewriter, or old 1981 computer or whatever he used to script New Teen Titans Vol. 1 #5, what would you have added?
Send me ([email protected]) some text to perfect the panel, and the winner - or, if I get enough great submissions, winners - will get their names published along with their winning submission. And, as with the Comics Cavern Search Query of the Day, winners will have the opportunity to plug their blog, or e-book, or one-man off-Broadway show or whatever. Just nothing violent or hateful - unless it’s against something deserving violence or hate, in which case I’ll think it over.
So what are you waiting for? Let’s see some submissions!
We bloggers love determining how we attract readers to our sites - are we getting word-of-mouth traffic? Perhaps we’re ranking high in blog directories, or showing up in Google searches, or our buddies are linking to us from their blogs, or Tweets, or Facebook pages? Why do we care so much? Well, for one thing, we’re generally a neurotic and insecure group, and we need constant validation and love. It’s also a good way to tell if you’re doing something on your blog that readers are responding to, positively or negatively.
As for me, I mostly enjoy reading funny search queries and wondering: 1) who is searching for these phrases, and 2) why are Google, Bing and the rest causing Comics Cavern to show up in search results? It’s a hobby, and this blog gets discovered by at least one amusing search query almost every day. Last month, I got about 20 hits from people searching for “tighty whities“.
I have so much fun with this that I figured I’d start sharing some of these searches with you guys. Don’t worry, your privacy is 100% guaranteed - I am not provided with any information regarding who is doing the searching, where they’re from, or anything. And even if I did have access to your private information, I promise I would never ever abuse your trust by sharing it.
Unlike Facebook.
So let me debut this fun new feature, a glimpse into the mind of the weird (and aren’t we all? - lord knows I’ve been known to make some pretty interesting searches) - with the inaugural Comics Cavern Search of the Day! Our first winner is… “Teen Titans wedgies“!
Congratulations to the person or people who searched for metahuman butt-floss. If you would like to step forward and receive credit as the winning searcher, you can send me an e-mail ([email protected]), and I’ll let you post your name, and if you have a blog or something you want to plug you can do so, within reason. There are no strict guidelines, just nothing hateful or violent.
Food for thought: was this a search for a hot shot of Wonder Girl needing to give her spandex some breathing room, or of Ravager hazing one of the new kids with the ancient initiation rite of the underwear yank? The world may never know.
I’m hoping to see some searches for Justice Society swirlies soon!
It’s great to be fast, but you’ve gotta learn control - and you’ve gotta know when to slam on the breaks. It’s all well and good racing into battle, but it’s a lot less glamorous when you slam face first into the big red demon’s loincloth.
That looks like it hurts - I’m only grateful New Teen Titans Vol. 1 scribe Marv Wolfman spared us the description of the demonic aroma!
And yes, despite my distaste for ’80s nostalgia in general, I have indeed been re-reading the original Wolfman/ Perez New Teen Titans series that kicked off in 1980. Aside from the occasional dated references - such as Changeling’s comparison of Starfire to Loni Anderson - the series was a timeless classic, and a landmark career high point for both creators - and for creators of this high caliber that’s really saying something.
I should note, however, that Jerry OrdwayCurt Swan provides the art for Kid Flash’s close encounter with Trigon’s nards depicted above – George was pencilling the Titans AND the Avengers at the time, the poor guy was bound to have deadline problems every now and then. And what a fortuitous deadline to miss – in an alternate universe, George drew this issue, and was doomed to spend the rest of his life at convention signings, begrudgingly fulfilling fans’ requests for sketches of his legendary “When Wally met Trigon” panel.
UPDATE/CORRECTION Sept. 26, 2009: I’ve been schooled on my comics history by no less than Mr. Wolfman himself, who pointed out that the artist on this issue (New Teen Titans Vol.1, #5) was not Jerry Ordway, but the legendary Curt Swan. Thanks for setting me straight, Marv!
I’ve been going through the old “to read” pile while waiting for the LCS to stock up on all of the new Wednesday releases, and man was last month’s Titans #15 a surprise.
Back when all of us Comic Book Revolutionaries had our Blackest Night Roundtable (I was consistently known as Groovy Superhero back then - these days I have more personalities than Aurora, Norman Osborn, and Margot Kidder), I never would have dreamed that Tempest would be one of the big bad zombies playing a role in Blackest Night.
For one thing, he’s been alive and keeping strictly on the sidelines since - well, since he was calling himself Aqualad, and calling Donna Troy “Wonder Chick”. Not to mention all the high-profile, already-dead Atlanteans to contend with. But DC went ahead and killed him, strictly for the purpose of coming back to life as a Black Lantern.
The irony is that he’s getting more face time as a corpse than he did for the last several decades he’s been alive.
Of course, back in June, I never would have thought I’d be recommending the Titans as a comic to add to your pull list, but as I’ve mentioned, once they kicked Judd Winick to the curb, the quality in this book took a sharp turn for the better.
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