No Warlock, Ye! Witches and Man-Witches Denounce Charlie Sheen


You may have heard about Charlie Sheen. Watching the star of the most mediocre comedy in the world have a very loud, very public meltdown makes for much better headlines than "Middle East in Flames" and "Politicians we Don't Dare Offend Crushing the Rights of the Working Class." So yeah, there's been a bit of coverage.
The actually kind of boring Sheen is, true to his sitcom heritage, relying on catchphrases to keep our attention, repeating phrases like "tiger blood" and referring to himself as a "warlock."
Oooh but you don't want to go there, Charlie! You're messing with forces you couldn't possibly understand! Due to their thick Boston accents! You done crossed the line this time, Carlito, now a bunch of middle aged New England women and their token dude-with-mascara are gonna incantation that demon right out of your hair!
Behold, the "magical intervention" held by Salem warlocks.
I'm sure that will set him straight. Next on the agenda: let's get some offended tigers to maul Sheen, his Twitter followers, and anyone who watches Two and a Half Men.
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