Mr. Negative-ized “Anti” Aunt May:
“Oh, you want more wheatcakes do you? Well, maybe you could try putting on some pants without pee stains and getting your ass a job, so you can go buy yourself some goddamn wheatcakes!!”

Mysterio “Or as in - ‘I ain’t no holla -Beck girl’! Seriously, I could make puns about my name all day. This supervillain thing, it’s just a day job ‘till my stand-up career takes off.”

Our overseas comics culture cousins at Empire Online have put together a list of their picks for the top 50 worst movies ever - sadly, it’s no surprise that it’s as stuffed with comics as my bathroom magazine rack.
Let’s face it, we’ve come along way since David Hasselhoff played Nick Fury, and the future is looking good for the superhero movie - but we’re still living in a world where for every Dark Knight there are two Hulks. Like, literally.
Kicking off Empire’s list at No. 50 is none other than Spider-Man 3 - Spidey dutifully followed in the X-Men’s footsteps by producing a 3rd film that sucked so hard it killed its previously vibrant franchise.
Of course, both Marvel staples are now in “reboot” mode, which will lead either to disaster or redemption for the characters’ cinematic lives. And Spider-Man is headed to Broadway, in a Julie Taymor/U2 produced 5000 kabillion musical that is already plagued with so many budget and production problems - and is such a stupid idea to begin with - that even Mephisto couldn’t save it. Actually, he’s probably the Executive Producer.
The Screen Team, featuring the awesome woman-of-the-Web Katrina Hill, shows us some celebs reading for the Spider-Man reboot.
It’s very funny, but here are some sobering facts:
- This 3 minute, no-budget parody is almost certainly 10 times better than the next kajillion dollar Spidey-flick is going to be. There’s no denying it’s better than Elektra!
- Similarly, the Screen Team has managed to do with no budget and 3 minutes what Julie Taymor, Bono and the Edge have failed to accomplish over the course of 7 months and like 100 mil: actually produce something besides gossip and rumors!
- The actors portraying the celebs are, for the most part, so very much more talented than the collosal douchebags they’re impersonating that it is just a crying shame.
Spidey and Conan in happier times (Mythos: Spider-Man, to be specific). Those were the days; before Peter learned that with great power comes great responsibility, and before Conan learned that network executives are incompetent, short-sighted, nasty little dillholes.